Shameless Bragging

Just a few cute pics of the youngest nephew...and his older siblings! (Thanks to the permission of my wonderful sister-in-law!)Isn't this priceless? Micah and his daddy!

Big sis, Rachel, got to be in "Beauty and the Beast!"
(Love those curls!)



And then...Miss Kierstyn also lost a tooth!

Aren't they beautiful kids??? I can't wait to see them in a couple of weeks! Many hugs from Aunt Joni!

If You Haven't Seen This One...

I got this in an e-mail, then looked it up on YouTube. It started out as someone videotaping some boys who were skateboarding. Then...well, you'll see... Watch the air bag!!!

Do Not Hit Her!

Let me know what you think!

***SORRY ABOUT THAT! The link changed up on me! Try it again!***

A Modern-Day Parable

My oldest son recently posted a piece about abortion on his blog. I am so proud of him!

Check it out here...

Letter to Tech Support

I got this one in an e-mail. Very cute!

INSTALLING A HUSBAND*

Dear Tech support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
Noticed a distinct slow-down in overall system performance,
Particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which
Operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable
Programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and
then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0
and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply
crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
Problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

DEAR DESPERATE,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package,
while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.htm l and try to
download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0
update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0
should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and
Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause
Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or
Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that
will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a
virus in the background that will eventually seize control of
all your system resources.)

Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. This is
an unsupported application and Husband 1.0 will cause it to crash.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have
limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You
might consider buying additional software to improve memory and
performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,
Tech Support

Bathtub Meditations

As I was hurriedly getting ready to get out the door this morning, I spent a few minutes in the tub (very few!) pondering some things. I'd like to share a little of that with you.

I was realizing that, as age continues to creep up on me, I have the biblical mandate from God to share some of what I've learned with women younger than myself. That's a daunting task, as I often feel I haven't learned much. Please feel free to click on my "comments" below and add some of your own!



~Most important of all...enjoy them while they're young. It sounds very cliche', but it's true: they grow up too fast. I now have a teenager. When did that happen? It seems that just yesterday he was a little tow-headed toddler, following me around the house, and incessantly quoting Veggie Tales videos.

~Potty training does not last forever! Really! It seems like an eternity when you're laundering another pair of messy underpants. But seriously, it does not last "to infinity, and beyond." As someone wiser than myself once said: on college applications, they do not ask what age the student was when they were potty trained!

~It's okay that you don't know all the answers to every question. What a relief!

~Shower them with love. Don't spoil them, but shower them with love. There's a big difference.

~As much as you love them and long for a close relationship, your object is not to be their best friend. You are their PARENT. That is the role God gave you.

~Along that same line, boundaries are tough to enforce, but are absolutely necessary. Stick to your guns, mom. Someday, they will actually appreciate it.

~Save special things. I have a file for each of my boys, with all sorts of special keepsakes. Funny pictures, special things they've written (even things written for punishment--quite humorous at times!), grade cards... Of course, we can't save everything. But certain things are definitely "keepers". One day, you can hand those over to them. They will cherish those items.

~Show your love for Christ by example. It's a fact of life that little ones are going to interrupt your quiet times with God, unless you are up in the wee hours of the night (and sometimes even then!). But you know what? Even when they interrupt that time, they are seeing your example. They know that Mommy is spending time with God, even when they are begging for a drink or another pbj.

~Enjoy a good bubble bath now and then. It's a sanity saver! (Or a good caramel macchiato, or whatever is a good getaway for you.)

~Listen to advice from older moms. Some of it, you'll use. Some of it, you can set aside for later. Some of it, you'll simply discard in the recycle bin of your mind. But listen to it all. Even the most overbearing advice-givers can give you gems of wisdom.

That's all for this post...I look forward to what others will add!

Judas Asparagus

I'm not sure if a child did this, or some wisecracking adult. Either way, it's quite humorous!
Enjoy!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
A child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible. I wonder how often we take for granted that children understand what we are teaching???

Through the eyes of a child: The Children's Bible in a Nutshell

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God,
darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I
think He must be a lot older than that.
Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did.
Then God made the world.
He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't
embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet.
Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven
from the Garden of Eden.....Not sure what they were driven in though,
because they didn't have cars.
Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.
Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who
lived to be like a million or something.
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of
his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and
some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said
they would have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his
brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some
pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston.
Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh
after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included
frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.
God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His
Top Ten Commandments. These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or
covet your neighbor's stuff.
Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.
One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use
spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the
town.
After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a
slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500
porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise
to me.
After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was
Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore.
There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to
worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The
New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a
barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you
born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')
During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees
and the Democrats.
Jesus also had twelve opossums.
The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a
terrible vegetable after him.
Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some
Germans on the Mount.But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the
Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up
to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is
foretold in the book of Revolution.

Twelve Year Old Saves a Life!

I know I said there would be "lighter" topics on this blog...and there usually are. But I had to post this for all to see. First, the story, then the link to the video. (I first saw the story on www.catholiconline.com)

Unborn Child Saved by 12-Year-Old's Pro-Life Presentation

By Kathleen Gilbert
2/19/2009

TORONTO (LifeSiteNews.com) - Though 12-year-old Lia's popular pro-life presentation did not win a regional speech competition last night, she and her family are celebrating what they call the "best trophy ever" - the saving of an unborn life, after Lia's words convinced a stranger not to abort her child.

A video of Lia's 5-minute speech, in which the sprightly and articulate 7th-grader gives a point-by-point argument against abortion, has attracted over 200,000 views on Youtube and a flurry of comments, in addition to increasing news media coverage.

Despite warnings that her pro-life message would disqualify her from the school competition, Lia's speech impressed both her pro-choice teacher and the school so deeply that she won the contest, despite a controversy that erupted in the judge's panel, which had at first disqualified her. Winning the school wide contest meant she would go on to compete at the regional level.

Lia's mother told Matt Lockett of the Moral Outcry blog that Lia presented the speech at the regional contest flawlessly, and though many testified to hers being the strongest speech, the family believed she likely lost because she spoke on the topic of abortion.

After learning she had lost the competition, Lia's mother wrote: "Lia wasn't really that upset though, especially when she considered that the only difference between winning the competition and not winning was having a couple extra pictures taken and being given a small trophy.

"Lia has a much bigger trophy - somebody commented to us on our YouTube account that her aunt watched Lia's video and decided to NOT have an abortion because of it. Yay God! Others have commented that they either never thought of the issue before or were pro-choice - but now they have changed their opinions. So, having a life saved is the best trophy ever!" wrote Lia's mother.

To view her actual speech, click on this link:

Here's the video

To read more on this, go to www.breakingchristiannews.com

I Owe It To My Mom...

One of my sisters e-mailed this to me. I've seen some of them before, but thought it was worth posting here for your enjoyment.

01. TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
02. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
03. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
04. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

05. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
06. My mother taught me FORESIGHT .
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
07. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
08. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
09. My mother taught me about CONTORTION ISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY .
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful
Parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.

It's a ......???

A group of first graders decided that for this year's pageant they would produce their very own Christmas program. They produced their own updated nativity story. All the major characters were there...Joseph, the shepherds, the angels, the wise men from afar...but where was Mary?

Shortly after the production began, there was heard some moaning and groaning coming from behind the bales of straw...Mary was in labor!

A first grader doctor with a white coat and black bag was ushered onto the stage and then disappeared with Joseph behind the bales of straw. After a few moments, the doctor emerged from behind the bales of straw with a jubilant smile on his face and holding a baby in his arms. With great drama in his presence, he solemnly announced in a loud voice, to the audience: "It's a GOD!"

Who says kids don't get the true meaning of Christmas???

Story taken from Mini Moments for Christmas by Robert Strand Copyright 1996

Invisible Mom

A friend e-mailed the following to me. Thanks, Melissa...this is great!

Invisible Mother.....

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone (or even on the toilet) and ask to be taken somewhere.
Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm busy?' Obviously, not.
No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.
I'm invisible. The invisible Mom . Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a taxi to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone! One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England .
Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in.
I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.
I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'
It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .
I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work.
No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.
It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life.
It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.
The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My mom gets up at 4:00 in the morning and bakes homemade pies. Then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're gonna love it there.'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right.
And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Great Job, MOM!

Hope this encourages you when the going gets tough as it sometimes does. We never know what our finished products will turn out to be because of our perseverance.